Random Musings of a Single Parent

Navigating the world as a single mum is definitely a different ball game compared to my single and childless days.

I look back and I feel a sense of peace now although most times it feels like a whirlwind around me like my son throwing a tantrum or worrying about how I would pay our bills and take care of things financially even into the future. Now, I can’t take more risks like I am accustomed to. Life can be overwhelming to be honest but I always find time to take a quiet time and do my evaluations (maybe even write my budget and projected expenses for the upcoming month). This I find help me in maintaining my sanity (be it whether it is in the wee hours of the day or late at night when Munchkin is already in bed).

On finding and keeping love, at this point I must say I have given up. The dating world is HARD!!!! Even more so as a single parent, you worry about meeting someone, letting go of your past hurt and fears, compatibility with your kid. Of course, you have to consider what kind of values they have knowing that there is now a child in the picture and a partner is a potential parent figure for your child.

Gone are the days when you could just up and go to spend the weekend over at your partner’s place.

Now, you have to plan and schedule it.

Gone is the spontaneity you were used to.

God help you if you don’t have an understanding partner who knows the challenges of scheduling babysitting time, well such people should not be in your life anyway.

Now you take time out of your busy schedule to meet someone, maybe excited about that person and they ghost on you. 

Yes, Ghosting is the new in-thing and it can suck. It feels like:

That moment when you wanted to go on a skydiving adventure,

Remember the adrenaline pumping through your chest,

You are scared but exhilarated,

You felt better know that you are in good hands and you have the right equipment.

When in the air, you are suddenly pushed out of the plane without your gear.

Now you are free floating (or rather flying) downhill to your demise.

You know no matter what, you are going to crash in a heap on the hard earth and hopefully your bones would be found.

Yep, that’s how ghosting feels.

However, you should know that it is never about you. Someone that wants to be with you would make that effort and show you what it is worth.

To be honest I am scared shit-less of opening up my heart again. My inner peace is just too important to give up for the ‘so called’ prize of having someone in your life. Don’t get me wrong, I love LOVE but I don’t think it is for me right now.

I think I have done enough musings for today.

Till I come on here to talk rant about the happenings in my life.

Love and Light always.