To the Men I loved before

Hallos,

It is the love season as Valentine's day was just a couple of days ago. Love was certainly in the air with some good and not so great experiences especially for those who got a rude awakening on that day (Hugs). How did you spend yours? 

Well, this weekend happen to be a long one with Family Day on Monday..Whoop!!! Whoop!!!! Just another day to stay indoors and go on a movie marathon with my bubs. Speaking of movies, I recently saw one 'To the Boys I loved before' which is the inspiration for this post. It is amazing how our experiences with various love interest shapes you. While, I have not found the one I would like to spend the rest of my life with, I am certainly grateful for those I have met, liked, loved and I would not give up those experiences for the world. Hence, my ode to you 'The Men I once loved'

The First Love of My Life

You came as a foreigner. Someone who made my heart flutter and with it, I fell in love without thinking. With you, I knew I have the capacity to love unconditionally. You showed me what it truly meant to make that someone the center of your world. I know I made mistakes, we all do and when it ended, I felt one of the worst pain like I could not live another day without you but still I stand. It has been years now and I am glad you came around when you did. Adios Jollopi!!!

The  Abuser

You were all shades of wrong but what can I say? Sometimes, the forbidden fruit is deemed the sweetest but with it, a bitter aftertaste. I tried all I could not to get sucked into our forbidden and secret love but the more I run, the more I get drawn back to you like a prey caught in the spider's web. I experienced emotional and psychological abuse from you that I justified it as your way of loving me. Alas!!! I saw the light at the end of the tunnel and ran I did coming out as victor, like a sprinter who had just won the race. Undoing the damage you caused was no small feat but I did it. I am glad we crossed paths as I can now recognize darkness when I see it...Adios!!!

The Emotionally unavailable 

With you came promises of truth and no pretense, little did I know that it was a facade. You slid your way into my life and was an unbreakable bond. You were there but not present. You were loving but not in love. You seemed truthful but it was a lie. It was like I was chasing you every time we were together like the ultimate prize that seems to be within reach but never in your grasp.  It was a never ending cycle like the magician having a show with the the audience or playing ping pong. Somehow, I found the strength to realize that I AM THE PRIZE. 

In retrospect, I am really glad I had these experiences as I know that there has been someone who has loved me unconditionally before I was born and his name is Jesus. For sure, I know the difference. 

To those still finding their way, YOU ARE AWESOME AND CAN DO THIS....

Love & Light Always