I was going through the the internet the other day and something caught my eye. It was a breakup letter written by a girl to her supposed boo. It raised some questions like are there really emotionally unavailable people? What does it mean not to feel? Come on!!! Aint we humans?
Please read and give me your take.
"Hey you,
I could probably end right here, but I’m not going to.
As I write this, I find it hard to type this letter without missing you, but it’s insane to miss something that isn’t yours. After all, we were never ‘official.’
I know it's bad to end things this way but we both know it would not make a difference to you anyways, so I do this for you as well as me.
I’m saving us both the embarrassment.
I’m not entirely convinced we’re born knowing how to love, and if we are, I think that shit gets forgotten before we’re two. The first time our cries go unanswered or someone forgets to change our diaper, we make a shift from love into survival. We learn how to stiffen our upper lip and how to coax love out of others. We learn who we have to be to get what we desire. We connect in certain ways — in safe ways, in small ways. We narrow ourselves to find and keep the affection of others.
And the f*cked up part is it works.
How can I expect you to love me in a way you haven’t learned? Can I require you be available when life shows you it’s unnecessary? Can I expect you to shift into love when surviving has served you well?
The answer is no. So we’re done.
Today I realize that I hope you should survive, but you won’t be happy if you can’t embrace real love, and I’m not talking about bullshit love either. I’m talking about the kind of love that explodes all over you when you touch it. The kind of love that might gut you — that requires you gut yourself. We have to let love gut us otherwise we’re just existing. You and I were just passing the time, pretending that all is alright, just pretending without ever building intimacy or trust.
I won’t ask you why you couldn’t love me the way I needed. I’ll bite my lip instead asking why you couldn’t commit to me. I won’t ask you if it’s me or anything that has to do with me. That is left for you to answer on your own
Now I say it " you’re off the hook."(thats if there was any in the first place)
Your abandonment just highlights what I already know: I’m alone with my insecurities and fears. That, my love, is so freaking scary.
I’ve tethered myself to you in an effort to avoid my pain. As long as you can’t love me, I have proof that there are no good men, I am unworthy, and I’ll have to settle for less. You become the latest in a line of men to be “the reason I’m guarded and can’t really trust.”
I break up with you and know that beyond you, there is me. And beyond me, there is love. And in the realm of real love, everything is possible. I release you from all responsibility for my emotions, and I apologize for putting them on you. They are my own, they are beautiful, and must be cherished. I apologize for trying to give you custody of my heart. The DNA results are in. My heart belongs to me. I am hereby responsible for my emotions and my heart. I cannot ask you to value what I devalue in myself.
I pray you encounter true love and happiness."
XOXO
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